Walk It Out

Dude, it's been really hot here.  And Germany has no idea what air conditioning or ceiling fans are.

But there's always popsicles!  There's nothing to get you in the mood for summer like popsicles. :-)


Caesar (Cezar? Who knows.) and I have been taking these bangin' nightly walks.  Well, I mean, we just started this week but I look forward to them everyday, watching the clock until seven thirty hits and we can head out.  The pup gets all his wiggles out and just moving and being around the outdoors helps simmer down my anxiety from the day.  The sky is blue and the grass is green and there is nothing that can interrupt the peace out there.  Except for the ten million bugs that are always trying to makeout with my face, or maybe a wild boar or something.

Is it weird that I get happy just smelling "spring" and fresh cut hay and, ya know, nature??

It's a good thing he's not anymore beautiful or else I might think that he's really my kid, not that I don't already act like it.  There's deff some only child syndrome over here.

Caesar's three favorite things:
1. His dad
2. Water
3. When his dad gets home

He's sleeping by the door right now, waiting for Jon to get home from work <3

He also loves (with strong persuasion) modeling.  And he's got those angles dowwwnn.

And look at these little furry creatures that Cezar and I saw yesterday:

We saw a couple of beavers!
Get your minds out of the gutter.
Cezar has this sweet spot on the river that he rushes to in this heat for a drink and a dip which a couple beavers were hanging out at, probably tanning or "parking" or something.

And if Dorothy had actually said "Screw the Wizard of Oz, I need a drink", I'm sure she would've followed these signs to the nearest brauhaus:

Germany makes daily walks so much easier, or harder depending on how many beers you've shot down.

I was so scared when we found out that Jon got orders to Germany.  He woke me up with a call from Iraq at five am to let me know the news, and I tell ya, that kind of thing, any sentence that includes the phrase "babe, we're moving to Germany" will wake you up better than any triple shot of espresso.  I thought it was a practical joke, maybe him trying to keep the spark alive since we hadn't seen each other in almost nine months except for a few minutes here and there over a shoddy Internet connection.

But nope, the boy spoke truth.  A few months later I had a passport and a couple plane tickets to Frankfurt in my hand.

I don't know why I was so scared, like maybe I thought that the Bavarian country side was riddled with cannibalistic tribes who wore lederhosen and picked off the weak American tourists.

Truthfully though, I've never been good with change.  Ever since I was a babe, I've wanted order, routine and (let's be real) control.  Everything had to be perfect.  Obviously life never really hands you over the reins, and I'm still learning this, but now the food on my plate is allowed to touch and most of the time I actually like to share with other people  :-)

In the same sense, Jon and I are enjoying Germany more and more as the weeks go by.  All of the things that I was so scared of, a different language, strange roads and unknown foods, are now so "normal"; don't tell my momma but I might've hit that one hundred mph mark on a bahn or two, and I'm so fluent in grocery store-ese (zwiebel is onion, paprika is bell pepper...) that it's almost embarrassing to admit how well I know food words but have to do the awkward smile-and-nod for everything else.

So what I've learned:  Germans are normal, not scary!

They probably hang out with their friends like this

And make faces at work like this

They live in houses, go grocery shopping and get coffee with friends just like Americans do, weird right?
...I should've gotten out more.

EXCEPT Germany does not have Target.  I know.  It could almost be a sin, except for the fact that they have a lot of IKEAs and a bunch of beer, and you can even enjoy the two together.  That combo probably beats out Target and its slushies any day.

I'll miss Germany and it's alcohol-loving ways.


Anyways, I'm off to go enjoy some of the lovely little bits of life (like my dog, have you seen a picture of him??! jk, you've seen like two hundred) and late night tea, and you go enjoy your almost-Friday, mi amigos.

Catch you on the flipside for some Friday's Letters!

xo

To be free.

Phreeing street art in Prague, the most amazing city that was ever under water.

This last week a flu took me out for the count.  My whole body ached, my head wouldn't stop pounding or swaying and my throat is still scratchy.  At least the whole 'zoning out and drooling' bit has stopped.  Though I hadn't been able to figure out where this crazy bout of sickness grew out of.

I've been good, I've been healthy, and nobody around me has come down with a similar plague.  But my life has been completely consumed by stress.  My spare time is spent thinking of contingency plans; driving in to work buzzing with numbers and percentages to save for "just in case"; falling asleep stacking mental lists of steps to take should failure come.  I'm preemptively falling apart, getting ready for a life that isn't here and may never be, because I'm scared.  I said it, I'm freaking scared.  What if, then what, how?  It's all impossible, of course.  But it's not.

So, this is all going to change.  Baby steps though, ya know.  Like first of all, a nice night of delish, wholesome takeout while the hubby is out doing Army things.

Brrruuuuuscchettaa

And then Johana, Jon and I walked around Regensburg in the sun (finally!).  We had ice cream, I was actually warm and it was fantastic.  Johana and I dragged Jon around stores and I bought the most scandalous dress I've ever owned and it looked amazing on.  No pictures of that one.  Sorry, mom.  But I do have a picture of this amazing lotion that we had to fight the sales lady for, "There are bottles that say tester, please use those.  That doesn't say tester.  Can you please scoop the lotion with the small plastic shovel thing?  You're smelling that candle wrong.  I hate you and you can't do anything right."  But Jon was sweet and quietly said over my shoulder, "You know, if you want something then you can get it.  Get something babe."  So I did, and I smiled huge and cheesy as the sales lady bagged it up and slipped a sample of body scrub in to the bag.

It makes me smell like a lady.

I woke up this morning feeling like I did last weekend, like I'd stayed out until five a.m. dancing crazy and throwing back shots (there's a post for that but I feel like this should go up first).  But I think that's just because yesterday was so good; I threw myself in to it and the day was warm and better for it.  Today ended well too, very satisfying.  Johana and I went grocery shopping on post, painted our nails and watched Sex in the City.  Jon and I had pizza for dinner.  I took out the trash and listened to relatively old pop-punk that makes me too happy.  It was so normal and it's all felt so good.  Maybe it's that sweet, slow settling warmth that goes along with long summer days.  Maybe it's that I've had coffee for the first time in a week.

Worrying doesn't make my life better.  Anxiety takes away my joy.  Those two old friends will soon be leaving, step by happy step.