Saturday, March 16, 2013

I need some wine for this one.

The Hubs and I have recently really messed up a dear friendship of ours.  Through a steady stream of miscommunications and unspoken hurts, we lost contact for a couple months.  Both of us thinking that our friends weren't interested in us anymore and our friends thinking, just the same, that we weren't interested in them.

We're working on rectifying that situation.

Because I've realized that I've messed up and I'm going to keep messing up through out my life.  I'm young and I'm going to learn things about myself and the world around me.  And recently I've learned that I need to celebrate people.

The other night, while in the midst of the partay that surrounded the following picture...

my friend (to the right) and I had a heart to heart during which she, who's incredibly spiritually connected, revealed to me that I'm an empath.

Now I'm a Christian, whole heartedly, but I believe that there are things we can't see or explain that exist in a spiritual place.  So I believe my friend when she explains that I have an empathic nature.  I also believe her because I looked up what an empath is and it explains me...

I've been deeply connecting with emotions, feeling too much for and from too many things, and in the process avoiding any emotions that I feel too strongly and make me feel out of control.  Like love, and fear, and sadness, and loss, and anger, and celebration.

My loyalty allows me to build companionship with other people while my reaction to being an empath restrains me from allowing them and they're hearts to penetrate my life.

[Here's an article for further explanation of empaths: Are You An Emotional Empath? By Dr. Judith Orloff]

Recently, I've allowed an "emotional vampire" to ravage my peace, my pride and my other relationships.  And even more recently, I've kicked that "emotional vampire" to the curb and retaken control of myself and the enjoyment that I find in others.

While I felt like I had no control over the influences in my life and to where my energy was being expelled, I've learned that those previous limits I placed on myself from feeling too much were more limiting a fulfilling life than the negative response I'd though I'd get from investing in friends.

So, I'm going to celebrate the people I love.

When my amazing, spiritual friend goes back to the States, I'm going to wholeheartedly show her that she's loved and will be missed.

And when my friend offers to bring over tylenol because I'm experiencing the worst cramps ever in my 21 years of life, I'm going to ensure that she knows she's dearly appreciated.

And when I tell my friends that they're family, I'm going to show them with my words and actions that I truly mean that statement.

And then I'm going to 'empath' the shit out of them with joy and peace and love until they can fully understand how much I appreciate my life with them in it.

A dear, dear friend.

Some stats:

  • I've been offered manager responsibilities at my job.  There's formal training and I was told that it's a great jump-off position for other manager roles.  Scary much?
  • The Hubs is constantly in the field right now.  Today he got home at 7am and reported back to work at 3pm.
  • New entertainment center!  Pictures when it's finished.
  • I'm still in love with Mexican food.  That is all.

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