Whatta man (kind of).

Our friends, a guy in Jon's company and his girlfriend, stayed this past weekend with us.  I love them.  A slight romance exists between us - me and the guy and the girlfriend.  Jon most often sits alone in a corner.  Just kidding (kind of).  He's cute (kind of) so we keep him around.

me, a friend and Jon's other half

This weekend we all went to the post's volksfest, drank full liters of pils beer, devoured langos (deep fried pieces of fluffy dough traditionally smothered with garlic butter, cream sauce and cheese) and had a going-away BBQ for a friend.

This was all, of course, interspersed with shisha smoking, drunken stupidity and a couple injuries.  Jon's still limping and I learned how to play chess (kind of).  A herd of gigantic mutant-sized, road-blocking deer almost hit my car.

Our weekend of shenanigans finally ended with a nice dinner out for pork roast and knodel and then a trip to the train station so that Jon's friend's girlfriend could head back home to Nuremburg.  My own anxiety drove us to the train station forty-five minutes early, so it was suggested that we head to the nearest gas station for a couple beers.  In Germany, it's always beer-thirty.

With absolutely no prompting whatsoever (kind of) Jon's friend bought me and his lady some flowers.  A colorful bouquet of daisies and greenery, not without a decorative felt heart pick, is front and center on my dining room table.

Jon was, instead of flowers, bestowed with this shining award for the gift he is to humanity:

Best GRANDPA in the world!

Hard times and simple joys.

Yesterday, in a word, sucked.  It was true Monday Madness.

I'm not the type to air out dirty laundry, especially when it doesn't just involve myself, but let's just say that things at work aren't okay; being blamed for something that's not your fault by people you thought were friends is not fun.  A coworker I consider one of my best friends even came to my desk just to yell at me.  And though I don't have to go to work today, I'm counting on being shamed more when I go back tomorrow.  Whoopee.

That's why I thought it was appropriate to make-up Monday's Inspiration today!  There's never a bad time to bring some more positivity in to this world.  And its so important that, even through those times in which bad things are unjustly happening to you and you feel more alone than ever, you hold your head high and continue sharing love.

All images pulled from Tumblr.  Sources unknown.

Why does it seem that its during the tough, lonely times that we tend to find simple joys and build a strong sense of self?  Though, maybe it's just me.

Today's simple joys:

Watching Mirror Mirror (LOVE Lily Collins and the styling is ridic)

Working on homework

Drinking coffee

Doing laundry (better than lighting a candle)

Loving on my dog

Keep holding on, lovelies.  New beautiful things are waiting right around the corner.  And go find the simple joys, you won't regret it.

XO, Jenni

Step by Step

First of all, I'm not sure if you guys know but I'm an artist.

Jon came home, looked at the painting and, before even taking off his boots, asked "Did you really paint that?"  Why yes, babe, I really really did.  Then he asked me about two or three more times if I really painted it.  YES babe, I REALLY painted it, my initials are on the back.  "I can paint my initials on anything, that doesn't mean you painted it."  Oh my gosh.

Apparently I'm that good.
Though some girls thought their tree branches were coming out to look a lot like a certain part of the male anatomy, if you know what I mean.

***

Thanks for putting up with my lack of blogging.
Somehow I got stuck in a big, deep hole of depression.  I might have just gotten worn out working full time, trying to ace school and keep up the house.  Really, I think I got caught up trying to keep up appearances and lost my energy and myself for a while.  But little steps are bringing me back and it feels so good.  We're hanging in there.

Step 1.
Try new things.  Like group painting classes on post, evidenced above.  SO much fun, especially because they gave us free food and offered alcohol.  I'm probably heading over to play softball this Thursday, too.

Step 2.
Walk the pup every day.  We do this after dinner when the sun is setting and the heat is dissipating; it's gorgeous out.  I can't wait to take out my fancy camera and play around with taking some shots.  And you can't beat having such a cute model as this sweet thing, I can just never get over him (the blonde one, not the red head):

 My two big babies.

Step 3.
Eat well.  I'm planning our meals, pre-cooking chicken and quinoa, taking veggies to work and drinking tea instead of coffee (suffering on this one).  It's all about changing your mentality to change your health.  I've been using this uh-mazing app called Recovery Record to help change my thinking towards food and eating, try it out!

 Pre-cooking chicken in a little chicken broth and seasonings for lunches.

  

Step 4.

Really enjoy time with friends.  Johana and I, after painting trees and belting out song after song in the car on the way home, sat outside by the fire, drank "watermelon juice" (aka watermelon arizona iced tea and malibu, aka delish) and laughed so.much.

Serena and Blair.

***

I feel better with structure, and I feel better when I'm not giving 100% to everybody with nothing left for myself.

So I'm cleaning and organizing, and I'm staying strong while taking care of myself.

It's a weird in-between phase so please bear with me.

We'll all be okay.  Right?  Right. :-)

Sometimes we don't know what we're doing

I forgot to pick up my camera before we left to Boleslawiec, Poland, but what we saw is nothing that can't be well documented with words instead of pictures.  I don't know if those unfulfilled pictures are something I'd want for a memory anyways.

Through the bus's window passed frames of tree groves bedded down with melted layers of orange leaves; fields with small rocks, large rocks and well overgrown patches of long grass; teenagers with nothing better to do on a Saturday afternoon than walk down narrow dirt roads and squint at cars on the highway.  The buildings were breaking down in a way that made it indistinguishable as to if they were farms or just really sad houses.  Graffiti was painted over walls and roofs, like makeup covering the bruised under eye circles of a woman who's been awake for too long or exposed to too much.

A kind looking brown-haired man walked behind three small children who jumped and skipped down a dirt road.  They looked happy.

The city of Boleslawiec itself was mostly a neighborhood of aged red, blue, brown and grey brick buildings, the kind that you know have seen years of seasons and battles and celebrations and have grown a hard outer shell to protect the souls of those who call them home.  They were a little intimidating.  A park was set to the side.  There was no cushioned, manicured lawn, crab grass grew in uneven patches between the sparsely leaved trees, but a lady walking her dog and a man on a bicycle still enjoyed the warm spots of sunshine.

Sturdy white washed signs directed us tourists to the city's avenue of pottery shops.  Poland is well known for its traditionally patterned pottery.  Blue and white and circles and flowers and hearts painted and stamped on thick ceramic bowls and spoons and teapots.  We were a group of twenty-something women who fawned over shapes, compared patterns and filled up empty wicker baskets with things we claimed were gifts for family back home.

Not all of it was too grandma-y.  I can handle some floral.

 All these little bishes for less than eight euro!

And I promise that some of these are actually gifts.  Like really, who needs two milk cows?

The bus ride was twelve hours.  I did not get car sick.  It was a good day.



Yesterday was not so good.
Apparently I've been neglecting a friendship.  Again.  Who knows.
Can a girl not catch a break?
I'm still not sure what to think of the situation or the friend.
I'll probably stay to myself for a little bit.
Lately it's been enough for me to finish my school work on time, take care of my pup and make sure my husband is fed.
I'm losing pieces of me, I think.  Where did all the rest go?

Vacay!

I went hurr.

Prague was amazing.  Seriously.  I'd like to move there yesterday.

Our friends that we went with said they thought I might never come back...they caught me :-)

The Hubbs and I actually got to have a vacation last week.  A much needed vacation, because that man works so hard all the time.  Let's just say that even though his command designates leave times throughout the year, he rarely gets to actually take advantage of them.

We started out on Wednesday, leaving for Edelweiss early afternoon (the best feeling ever is when you get to leave work on Tuesday afternoon and know that you don't have to come back until the following Monday).  Edelweiss is beautiful.  It's an Army resort located in southern Germany, right on the Italy/Austria/Germany border, right by the Alps.

Lovehim.

Another awesome thing about Edelweiss: jumbo-sized alcoholic drinks.

Yeah, that's an extra large margarita and a five liter beer tower.  Done, son.

But we're wimps because we didn't finish either one.

We also got free refills (Germany's missing out) and I got to have a massage and facial.  The facial was incredible, but I've never had a massage (out of my whole one-time experience) during which I was talked to for the entire sixty minutes...and listened to an awkward song about taking somebody home while the male massage therapist spent time on my neck and shoulders.  He did give some awesome pointers for Prague, though.  And I walked away feeling like Jello.

We came home on Friday afternoon and left for Prague that same evening.

Prague is about an hour and a half East of the Czech border, and about two hours away from where we're stationed.  It's straight in Bohemia, and it's amazing.  Don't be scared of it's slightly bad reputation; go if you can.

Dinner the first night.  Hub's was topped with a lemon, whipped cream and jelly.

 The main square and astronomical clock tower.

 RJ (Russian Jon) came out.

 My friend and I had an awesome time going to the top of the clock tower and sipping on jumbo mojitos.

TMI WARNING:

 Worst translation in the history of translations.

 Prague castle/cathedral.

 The Night Gym had a banana show.  Next time.

 Cookies, cash & cigs.  Scandal.

We went with our really close friends (ya know, the ones from this post, who we reconciled with) and it was perfect; the guys get along, the girls get along and we all get along together.

Amazing cake was had...at almost every meal.

The guys went on a beer tour...for which us girls waited for them for hours.

I bought a bottle of hemp beer...and it tasted really gross.

We discovered some awesome music at an underground bar named Vodka bar...and almost got in a fight with a rude Czechy.

Plans to go back are already in the works.

Some quick facts:

• I've taken over some manager responsibilities at my job.  Who's a big kid now??  It's scary.
• Hubby got me my first DSLR camera, a Nikon D3100, and it's gorgeous!
• Caesar's still cute.  As always.
• Last 9 credits of my associate's degree!
• The Hubs is becoming fashionable with a little help from moi (and Express sales).

I need some wine for this one.

The Hubs and I have recently really messed up a dear friendship of ours.  Through a steady stream of miscommunications and unspoken hurts, we lost contact for a couple months.  Both of us thinking that our friends weren't interested in us anymore and our friends thinking, just the same, that we weren't interested in them.

We're working on rectifying that situation.

Because I've realized that I've messed up and I'm going to keep messing up through out my life.  I'm young and I'm going to learn things about myself and the world around me.  And recently I've learned that I need to celebrate people.



The other night, while in the midst of the partay that surrounded the following picture...

my friend (to the right) and I had a heart to heart during which she, who's incredibly spiritually connected, revealed to me that I'm an empath.

Now I'm a Christian, whole heartedly, but I believe that there are things we can't see or explain that exist in a spiritual place.  So I believe my friend when she explains that I have an empathic nature.  I also believe her because I looked up what an empath is and it explains me...

I've been deeply connecting with emotions, feeling too much for and from too many things, and in the process avoiding any emotions that I feel too strongly and make me feel out of control.  Like love, and fear, and sadness, and loss, and anger, and celebration.

My loyalty allows me to build companionship with other people while my reaction to being an empath restrains me from allowing them and they're hearts to penetrate my life.

[Here's an article for further explanation of empaths: Are You An Emotional Empath? By Dr. Judith Orloff]

Recently, I've allowed an "emotional vampire" to ravage my peace, my pride and my other relationships.  And even more recently, I've kicked that "emotional vampire" to the curb and retaken control of myself and the enjoyment that I find in others.

While I felt like I had no control over the influences in my life and to where my energy was being expelled, I've learned that those previous limits I placed on myself from feeling too much were more limiting a fulfilling life than the negative response I'd though I'd get from investing in friends.



So, I'm going to celebrate the people I love.



When my amazing, spiritual friend goes back to the States, I'm going to wholeheartedly show her that she's loved and will be missed.

And when my friend offers to bring over tylenol because I'm experiencing the worst cramps ever in my 21 years of life, I'm going to ensure that she knows she's dearly appreciated.

And when I tell my friends that they're family, I'm going to show them with my words and actions that I truly mean that statement.


And then I'm going to 'empath' the shit out of them with joy and peace and love until they can fully understand how much I appreciate my life with them in it.

A dear, dear friend.

Some stats:

• I've been offered manager responsibilities at my job.  There's formal training and I was told that it's a great jump-off position for other manager roles.  Scary much?
• The Hubs is constantly in the field right now.  Today he got home at 7am and reported back to work at 3pm.
• New entertainment center!  Pictures when it's finished.
• I'm still in love with Mexican food.  That is all.